i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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