how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
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Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
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Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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