Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
