Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize