so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
