I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
