when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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