They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
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