I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
as a side note pls kill me
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