did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
