she looked like the before picture.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Randomize
