With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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