What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
