my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
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