Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
