Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Randomize
