Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
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