dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I have already put on my inside pants.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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