I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
