just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize