There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
