We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
soo... how was my night?
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