I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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