jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
