I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
