Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
