The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
