i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Randomize
