there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
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