So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
