I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
