fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize