if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
