I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Princesses don't give blow jobs
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Can I color on your dick again?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
