hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
