i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
