I wanna bring you to show and tell
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
