DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
