You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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