someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
