I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
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