I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
