Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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