Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
