yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
