Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
