You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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