uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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