There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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