So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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