Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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