Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
