their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Randomize
