At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
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