i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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