you win again, gameday.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
