What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
We were destined to go to rehab together
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
