I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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