FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
